FOG HORN

TGIF readers, we’ve made it through another week, and what a week it was. It’s also time for our shoot the shit. This week I’ll start by sharing a life experience followed by the ESPN extravaganza, monuments and closing with Hillary Clinton’s book excerpts.

I had to make a trip to the bank this week. I arrived about 10 minutes prior to the branch opening; however, the lobby was open and occupied by 11 people,  all available seating was taken so I stood in front of the elevator. I was overcome by the fact that everyone was totally silent and void of sings of viable neural function. So, I commented on how everyone looked so somber and offered to do my Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonation – it’s a damned good impersonation; this produced absolutely no reaction, no smiles, no boos, or comment. They only stared in my direction. I turned around and found that I was standing in front of a sign advertising a teller / personal banker group interview – are you kidding me! So, what the hell is a group interview? Interesting to note was the number of applicants lined up to be group interviewed. This is what economists call an indicator.

ESPN blows me away and if I were CEO, I wouldn’t be making public excuses for Robert Lee’s reassignment, I’d be trying to find out how many idiots I have working in my organization. I also have a little bone to pick with the fine folks at ESPN but first I’ll recap the incident for readers unfamiliar with the Robert Lee debacle.

Robert Lee, a college ball ESPN commentator, was scheduled to cover a University of Virginia game, in Charlottesville,  on 2 September for ESPN. Lee, a Chinese American, was reassigned because his name is coincidentally the same as General Robert E. Lee.

Over the weekend, I found myself at a local book store looking through the magazine rack to pick up a copy of RECOIL. Next to me, was a young boy and his dad who apparently recognized Javier Baez, in the buff, on the cover of ESPN magazine. The little kid was asking his dad how come the Chicago Cub’s player was naked.

Now, it’s been my life experience that successful athletes enjoy being positive role models for young men and women. Kids imitate and look up to them and I’ll bet you dollars to doughnuts that Javier feels the same way. So, this magazine cover does not flatter Javier, but it does show very poor taste on ESPN’s part. I propose that a more suitable cover could be ADELANTE Magazine’s  not a sports publication.

On the lighter side it also reminds me of USN LTJG Dennis King’s theorem on bat sizes. LTJG King articulates that a bat in the hands of a small man will always look larger than the same bat in the hands of a big guy; he stops short of saying that its real number value  is what counts!

Now for monuments!

This movement has nothing to do with slavery and everything to do with the imposition of one man’s will over the other. It’s, at least in my non-legal mind, a First Amendment infringement of the monument sponsors’ rights. Being offended is part of life; the way I deal with it is avoidance not hard and certainly a more mature approach. This is where we’re at circa 2016.

We are offended by historical monuments that have been in place for nearly a century, we are offended by public displays of nativity scenes, we are offended by public displays of a Cross or Star of David, we are also offended by conservative speakers, we are offended by displays of patriotism and we’re also offended by our flag. So, I’d like to close my comments by saying that we are fortunate enough to live in a country where the door swings both ways, and if you’re so deeply offended by these things that you can’t simply ignore them, perhaps the logical alternative is to find a more accommodating society elsewhere.

Secretary Clinton has a new book, hitting the shelves in September, titled “What Happened.” Audio excerpts from her book were released in which she expresses her discomfort with President Trump during a debate saying;

“…he was literally breathing down my neck, my skin crawled; it was one of those moments where you wish you could hit pause and ask everyone watching, well what would you do. Do you stay calm, keep smiling, carry on as if he weren’t repeatedly invading your space or do you turn look at him in the eye and say loudly and clearly back up you creep”

We decided to take a stab at rewriting her passage as if Susan Johnson, author of Forbidden, a classic erotic novel. So, here we go.

I new he was a libertine with a voracious appetite. He demonstrated his desire breathing down my neck. My skin crawled with anticipation but I knew the time and place was not right. I thought, do I hit the pause button or fold like an old T-shirt and let him have his way with me. If you were watching what could you do? Would you turn and call him a creep.

Please have a great weekend and let us hear from you! Be safe, especially you folks in the Texas panhandle. Leave the hurricane party until it’s over and get you and your family to safety.