How’s everybody doing out there? It’s week three of social distancing with four more to go. Hope everyone is following the CDC guidelines and dismissing the media? You undoubtedly have cabin fever but the outcome is worth the sacrifice so hold the line. But look, rather than spending $150 per hour plus minutes of usage, if you don’t have an unlimited calling plan, on a jackass who studied psychology so they could understand themselves and who more than likely just got off Skype with their therapist, have a shoot the shit.

A shoot the shit is a social interaction where any topic can be discussed, participants don’t need to know anything about the subject, they’re free to make unsupported statements, use uncensored profanity, insult anyone they wish or change the subject. Now look, shoot the shits are always best when you have a hot tub party but doing so will make you social distancing noncompliant, so my suggestion is for you to use Skype or some other video conference tool.

So, let’s shoot the shit.

You’ve all heard the face mask argument, it seems to be getting louder but as Sister Mary Joseph use to tells us, “empty barrels make the most noise.” The media blowhards are alleging that the CDC is lying about the effectiveness of face masks because they want to keep them for the medical profession? If anything flags you as a moron is a statement of that nature. When the doctors and nurses all perish who the hell is going to treat your ass should you be infected-  Nobody! Yes, there is a shortage of  personal protection equipment so let’s keep the frontlines supplied.

You wearing a mask is equivalent to using a condom with its reservoir cut off. The COVID-19 virus is  propagated via atomized particles, infected surfaces and hands. Simply walking down the street and into a contaminated air pocket, due to a cough or sneeze from an infected individual, will likely infect you via your eyes and contaminate your exposed skin. To put it bluntly, wearing a face mask is like getting a hand job, it makes you feel good but it’s not the real thing. What a mask does is distract you from doing what is 100% effective and that is social distancing. Strict observance of social distancing is working in Italy and France. Both of those countries are seeing increasing infections at a decreasing rate and that means they’re getting over the apex.

They have been successful because local officials have taken a hard line. These Italian mayors are angry and communicating that anger to their communities.

Contrast them with NYC Mayor Bill de Blassio who prognosticates disaster; stopping short of saying stick your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye. What you would be hearing if Rudy Giuliani were NYC Mayor would something along the lines: “  Pessimi bastardi, se vedo qualcuno di voi idioti per strada, vi inculerò nel culo e dormirete con i pesci”.

Please comply with CDC guidelines, be safe, stay healthy, do some dry firing and this too will pass.